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Sunday, March 28, 2021
Saturday, March 27, 2021
Squaring the circle: ECL 6 Noname Human Brute Holy warrior 6 Entry 15
Squaring the Circle: Melino lvl 6 Half Elf Druid Entry 14
We kept walking towards the pool and saw a large lady being....sucked by the water? Like it was crawling into her insides. Noname thought she was in need of help (like the heroic man he is) so we got closer to help her. Then a couple extra droplet people came to attack us. I got knocked out multiple times, and I can’t remember much of this past month...
When I awoke, we had an extra adventurer with us. An opera singer no less! She’s beautiful and knows how to beat up fiends. I think we are going to be besties for sure! She also can’t seem to remember what happened. She doesn’t know why she’s here. Noname explained as much as he could about what we were doing. I understood...not much. But whatever. I’ll do what he tells me. We were all doing pretty badly so LuLu (my new BFF) and I slept in the tent while Noname watched for any fiends. I was thrown into a dream where I looked like William! I didn’t know where I was but I saw Shameshka laying down across from me. I tried calling her name but she responded that she was LuLu! We explored and exchanged information (and clothes at one point) before coming upon a hoard of zombies. We figured it would be best to join them to get some more knowledge about what was going on. That idiot that killed William took me out of the crowd and tried to place me on a slab. I refused, acting like a mindless zombie the entire time, while LuLu laid on one of the slabs. The idiot ran off and ignored us, so onto searching we went. We found a lot of body parts....and a triangle orb thing? And a staff of tongues? It all sounds so familiar. I think Noname talked to me about it...it’s the stupid orb we needed? I started getting nervous and high on energy. “We gotta go NOW” I said, as we heard rumbles come from underneath us. Teflon was coming. LuLu found a weird circle hidden under a bunch of limbs. She gave me the staff and orb and sent me through it. She followed soon after. We were outside? Is that...Noname? Are we awake? What’s going on??
He called out to us. I woke up. I heard him yelling about zombies. I ran out and told him to calm down. It was difficult to explain but I think I got him to calm down. I went near the zombies that LuLu and I possessed. I guess it wasn’t a dream. We grabbed the objects and ran back to the gate.
Felt it best to give the tongue staff to that guardian lady. Man did she love it. We saw Teflon teleport to our area but I left so fast I didn’t bother to think about it. We ended up at our usual inn. I just wanted to rest. As I rested, I tried to remember what LuLu had repeated while holding the orb.
The 7th layer of hell. He lies in the mobile fortress labeled “The Relentless”.
Friday, March 26, 2021
DM Entry: The Planar Cant
PLANAR CANT
Don't get peeled cutter, make sure you're reading Sigil's only underground newsrag that matters.
Top story today. The Lady has finally had enough of the Bixiinae and their rapid overpopulation. As a result, she's mazed the entire lot of them. Several businesses that had been run almost entirely by Bixiinae are temporarily closed while their owners' scramble to find new workers. Prices are up right now all across the Great Bazaar due to shortages. Expect prices to be about double or sometimes triple right now.
In other news, the Harmonium are setting up guard stations everywhere within eyeshot of what is sure to be an unprecedented turnout for the viewing of who some are calling the Son of Sigil. Services are being held in two days for the local soothsayer William who, as you should already know, was killed in an ambush recently. There has been a hot debate about what name to put on his headstone. Tanar'ri representatives from the Abyss are insisting his full demon name be inscribed on the stone, Apocaloxon Loggonon. Meanwhile others such as the Portal Master and Shemeahka are insisting that he had given up that name for his new chosen name William when he turned stag on the Blood War and became a permanent resident of Sigil. A spokesman from the Harmonium had this to say, "We don't really care what name gets put on that demon's headstone, we're just here to keep a funeral from breaking out into a war."
Thursday, March 18, 2021
Squaring the Circle: [ECL 5] Lulu, human bard 5: Entry 1
"So I woke up in hell the other day,"
Nah - can that crap. Utterly trite. All the devils will walk right out. But then, they're only ever there for the second act, anyway. Plus, it's been years since I did stand-up. I don't even have a show booked. Right? ...Right? Shit. Maybe I do. Probably too late to cancel.
Okay. Which damp-faced dumbfuck had the bright idea for me to go to hell? Me? My agent? Susan? What a fiasco. Can't remember why I came. Must have been a gig, right? Hope it went well. Who even hires a singer out there? Wait, was it the water guys? Was that the act? Shit. They stiffed me.
I'd kill my agent, but if I know me, and I do, I already did. Hopefully, he suffered. I should be so lucky.
Oh well. Honestly? Not the worst job I've had. Even met some fans - eh, who am I kidding? They never heard of me. To spare my own ego, I'm gonna assume that's because they've been too busy with this seriously shady business. I mean, I know shady business, and this business is shadier than my taint. You don't stand under shade this shady, understand? Liable to get sat on.
Too late, though - think I'm an accomplice now. Best to brace for impact, hope for soft cheeks. Started having weird dreams, which turned out to not be dreams. First I thought one of my new friends slipped me something Bytopic. Still not sure they didn't. None of it makes any sense. For example: That tongue thing? Doesn't make any sense. All those bodies? Don't make any sense. You see where I'm going with this? Every time I try to describe what just happened, I realize what I'm about to say sounds fucking stupid, so I give up.
Enough. Gonna sleep now. Look for a spellweaver masseuse in the morning.
Saturday, March 13, 2021
Squaring the circle: ECL 6 Noname Human Brute Holy warrior 6 Entry 14
I fear that the balance does not touch this realm. I performed my morning ritual for strength and felt nothing. It could be that the balance has deemed me strong enough for the challenges ahead. Based on our recent encounter with some four legged creatures, I want to believe in the balance. I was able to trip such creatures not just once but multiple times. I do fear the day when the balance scales tip out of my favor. I do believe that if Melino is by my side, I can face the odds. I watch her from time to time. It is difficult with how many eyes she has and I believe see does know of the glances I steal. Praise the Balance .... and keep her safe.
Squaring the Circle: Melino lvl 6 Half Elf Druid Entry 13
We asked the crazy dead raiser for some help doing some spells. She told us to basically stomp on the name of teflon and we would get what we wanted. Highly sus. I don’t want to do it but I’m the one who needs it the most. She dragged our kill away, happy as can be.
Loli wanted desperately to stop by the Pool of Clearest Water on our way to the leader so we headed that way. While walking along, we saw 5 creepy beings galloping towards us. DIDNT like the sight of that, especially when I’m hurt and don’t have many spells I can use. While they were charging, I remembered I’d prepped my lightening for this layer of hell. We killed 2 out of the 5 of them. The other 3 ran off a distance and kept watching us like wolves, waiting for the chance to strike. We got sick of this very quickly.
“This is annoying,” Loli would say. “Let’s just kill them and be done with it.
I agreed. We came up with a slightly elaborate plan pretending to sleep to lure them in. Once they dropped their guard and came closer, I cast Wind Wall to prevent them from skittering off again. This time we wouldn’t let them leave alive.
Or
That was the plan I guess
I couldn’t get my spell to work
So
We quickly tried to decimate them before they could run like the big babies they were. We got all but one, who ran off hopefully to never be seen again.
We were on the road again and came upon the Pool of Clearest Water, at last.
I’m suddenly so thirsty.