Squaring the circle: ECL 5 Noname Human Brute Holy warrior 5 Entry 10

So the balance has a strange way of reminding you of your place in it. While fighting some small demons, a literal monster appeared. I readied my bow to fight this towering foe, but Loli and I were engulfed by the enemies darkness. Poor Loli. I could see what had happened in that blackness, but I heard it. Slashing through flesh with a distinct clink as metal met bone. No screams or shouts of pain, just a thud as a body fell to the ground. At first I thought it was our enemy, but I realized that was far too close. Fearing the worst, I reached out for the source of the noise and felt Loli’s armor. With my fears confirmed, I dragged her out of the darkness. What I saw was sickening. A wound the size of my arm, exposed bone and blood everywhere. I quickly used a healing potion on her. The bleeding stopped and the wound started to close. Loli regained consciousness and said something truly dreadful, “I can’t move”. I yelled at Melino to come back. If this enemy could do this to Loli, she would be in trouble. It was then when the monster exploded into ribbons. The last enemy spoke to Melino, then vanish. We were alone. We need to get stronger! Praise the balance.

Squaring the Circle: Melino lvl 5 Half Elf Druid Entry 9

I may have done a bad thing.

A quick recap: we searched through the building and found a giant grub eating a bunch of books. Looking through the other rooms their were 3 completely identical to each other. I even drew in the dirt in one room and it appeared in the other 2! We tried to figure out why it was like that but Noname pinned himself under a beam and got too freaked out to keep looking. While going through the other rooms we got sucked into a...another world? A different dimension? I’m not sure where we went but we saw an old being from the ‘beginning of life itself’. He told us he would assist in our quest if we didn’t kill our target. I agreed. I think we can solve these problems under these conditions. He ended up kicking us out while waiving my dead snake at us. Monty....I haven’t seen him in so long. I should’ve been better to him....

Fast forward really quick - Loli defended the grub from a witch and we ended up having to buy him. Gods help me. This bitch is gonna lose all our money. So anyway we dipped and got ambushed back in Sigil but some maenies (also bringing back memories) and found a GIANT demon that told me he respected me. I’ll be honest and say all I could think when he said that was “damn right you do, I’m awesome”, didn’t even question that there could be evil intentions. That’s where I fucked up. He offered me a wish and I took it. I wanted to do something to help my team but before I could make the wish the demon was flayed alive by the protector of sigil. I keep hearing demons call me the chosen one. This is just like the succubus. I think I’m gonna be in trouble.

Squaring the Circle: ECL 3 Loli Loomfinski Human Crusader lvl 3: entry 5

Babies a Bad Bitch is down!! I was mopping up the game, like I do and there was just one guy left but I couldn't see his ass an there was a huge crab and I got absolutely FUCKED!! The Bitch actually severed my spinal cord and knocked me out, I could not move or anything. I'm glad they pulled me out n shit but honestly? I have never slept better in my life. being completely paralyzed makes it so easy to just float into nothingness and let your mind wonder in the dreams, I had this one dream where I got to wrestle all my stuffies and those guy are pussies now, I remember them pinning me way easier in the night when I was a kid. Anyways check the twitter: https://twitter.com/Coin_Slot_Cutie like normal and thank you to the nurse typing this since I cant move or none.   

Sincerely 

The Lovable Miss Loomfinski

&

    The Incredible Nurse Squanda :)

DM Post: ...

The small red frog, Qrooth, clings to the back of the large green frog, Scoow. Qrooth is our tout from Ramander, and he continuously banters away with trivial lore about places we're visiting and places we've never heard of. His expression is always that of unceasing bliss, like he's snuggling the one he loves more than all others, like he's missed her for a very long time and is afraid to lose her again. He has a weird sense of humor too.
Qrooth: "We OOoonce encountered a creature that called itself a kender. Curious little fella, but he had a baaAADD habit of kiping things when no ooOOne was looking. We tried to explain to him how he shouldn't steal. But its haaAARdd to explain things to a kleptomaniac, because they take things so literally."
Scoow: "Oh stop it. You're such a toad," the large green female frog says with a giggle.
Qrooth coos in the way only mating frogs do, in a vocal display of contented pleasure at her words. Would it be insensitive or racist to call that a ribbit? "Isn't she such a lovely broaAADd?"
To which Scoow replies with loving giggles again.
"Remember last mating season, I was the man," she says. "And I almost didn't win your affections away from the other competing males."
"Yes, I do. Its on my mind every day, my love," he says gently, reassuringly. As if we haven't already heard that exchange a hundred times already. Then his words are directed back at us, "This is our fourth consecutive season to be a mated pair." Only something isn't right. His face is strange. Then I realize the little red male frog has Scoow's face and she's looking right at me, with her piercing unblinking yellow eyes. I quickly look up at the large green female and her face is the face of the Qrooth. And he continues with his relentless trivial tour guide information, Qrooth's voice issues from the large green frog's mouth. I thought the male was always small and the female was always large. Something is wrong. Then I see the assassin demon pulling his blade from my back, but his face is that of the larva we rescued, the one that was eating the books. "What's a maeldur?" it telepathically asks me. I turn to my friends and cry out for help. "The pain is so bad," I was trying to say, "Pull me away from combat before I die." But they wouldn't answer, like they couldn't hear me. Are they ignoring me? Then Noname turns around and approaches me, but he's silently gliding above the ground, and I'm immediately struck with a mortal dread like never before in my life. Its not Noname's face , its the Lady of Pain, her cold eyes boring into my soul, like she's considering whether or not to flay me alive. I force myself to break from her stare. And then I realize all of the little demons we're fighting have the hag's face, they all have Oppinimos Mar's face and they are all staring at me! "We have a deal, here's your larva," they all chant in unison. Suddenly, I feel like I'm immersed in a warm blanket and suspended above the ground. Wait, I'm floating. I'm floating away. Someone grab me, I'm floating away....help me....someone help me...

~Loli dreams~

Squaring the Circle: Melino lvl 5 Half Elf Druid Entry 8

We are being escorted by two frogs stuck together. That’s really all I’ve been paying attention to. I think Loli finally accepted being a mother.

Squaring the circle: ECL 4 Noname Human Brute Holy warrior 4 Entry 8

Poor Loli. First she was touched by a ghost and knocked unconscious. Then i can only guess it was tryout to enter her. Melino was able to pull her away while I dispatched the ghost. After a good slap, she awoke, seemingly fine. We made our way into the building and towards the portal, when we were attacked again. This time by a large bear creature that tongued Loli. Next thing I know, Loli is in the beast’s mouth. I hope Loli will be okay. We haven’t even made it to the portal yet and she has almost been entered and has entered our opponents.

Squaring the Circle: ECL 3 Loli Loomfinski Human Crusader lvl3: entry 4

my babies i gotta be honest ive been fucked up for like two weeks i cant remember where i was this morning much less two weeks ago just go look at twitter or something  https://twitter.com/Coin_Slot_Cutie

                                

                                                                                                            fuck off for now 

Squaring the circle: ECL 4 Noname Human Brute Holy warrior 4 Entry 7

I have to admit, the universe tested my faith in the balance. Our contact was contracting us to kill his brother! After his parents “died” in a house fire?!? I should remain unbiased and trust in the balance. In the end, the balance provides! The brother was a monster! (Metaphorically, not literally) Thanks to Loli, he was practically dead when I got there. We found him with a small child and a strange contraption. We restrained him but he succumbed to his wounds. We grabbed his body, the child, and all the “valuables” we could carry. Our contractor approved and payed us AND gave us rings to survive the blistering heat. We can now set off for the real adventure.

Squaring the Circle: Melino lvl 5 Half Elf Druid Entry 7

.....I was really conflicted on whether or not to kill that priest....until I saw him prepping to rape a kid. That kinda sold it for me if I’m being honest. We wham blam killed that man and grabbed what looked like the rest of his torture devices for ‘salamander’ for this debt of his. To tell the truth, it was all really twisty trying to figure out what was really going on. Salamander said he was just collecting a debt but we had no idea it was from his brother. I was convinced that Salamander had killed his parents too - everything smelled sketchy. But we ended up saving a street rat before being molested (maybe - I’m not sure. He had that ‘lost virginity’ twinkle in his eyes so maybe we were a couple rounds too late) and Loli took a liking to him. I was surprised that she wanted to adopt him. We put him in the beggars guild for the time being until we could find better to take care of him.
It was a fun side quest and all but we are finally back on the road!....I think. As long as nobody is investigating that priests death then we should be fine.

Squaring the circle- Nessa lvl 2 spellscale warlock

Well turns out the guy that ramander the salamander wanted us to kill was a murdering pedo. So killing him was good but then loli decided to keep the human boy we found. Their species is very interesting, to have motherly instincts for one that is not your own. In my culture we would have gave the boy a mercy killing to prevent any more misfortune. In the end loli took the boy to the beggars guild and found him sanctuary there. Thank goodness too cause the boy was starting to stink. 🤢🤢🤢

Squaring the Circle: ECL 2 Loli Loomfinski Human Crusader lvl2: entry 3

Guys shit HAPPENED 

    this one guy told us to go kill this other guy and at first i thought he was just some rotting priest dumbass but he was actually a fUckING pEdO. but yall should have seen me saucing this guy while my team bumbled down a fucking ladder the whole time, then after they finally got down made me not kill him but jokes on them he died anyways from being stupid and old and gay. THEN MY FUCKING TEAM GOT MAD AT ME FOR SAVING THE CHILD HE WAS ABT TO RAPE!!!! like guys where are your PRIORITIES!!!1!  but dw i found him a nice place at the beggers guild and i will check back on him next time im in town. guys my next blog post will hopefully be the bikini episode i cant waittttt! and if you can either i have been live tweeting on my twitter so come check that shit out https://twitter.com/Coin_Slot_Cutie 

                                                                            leta bitch

DM Entry: A hasty meeting with Ramander

Ramander hands the party a page of today's paper. He says, "You're welcome. Now I'd suggest you make yourself scarce for a while, until the heat dies down. The last thing anyone wants is to be interrogated by a bunch of emotionally upset paladins with more zeal than brains. Qrooth will be here in a minute to convey you along your way. He's my personal tout, none better in Sigil."

The Planar Cant
Sigil's local underground newsrag.

Breaking News
Pull your hats down low and fold up your collars. The Harmonium are investigating mysterious blood spatter found in a secret basement under the Temple of Hieroneous here in Sigil. "Right now we aren't releasing any details other than that torture equipment was also found in the same location and that Brother Culver, the High Priest of Hieroneous in Sigil has been reported missing. We're still investigating, excuse me," says Captain Ramm. We contacted the high ups within the clergy of Hieroneous, and one Father Loric, Primate of Venya's Cathedral of Hieroneous in Mount Celestia, had this to say, "Heironeous does not condone the use of torture devices, never has. We consider this an internal affair and right now we are sending a troop of the Celestial Order of the Templar-Inquisitors to secure that temple in Sigil. We're already in talks with the Harmonium to aid them in conducting street-side interrogations near the area. We'll find our Brother Culver and we'll uncover the truth about whatever this heinous act was that was perpetrated within the very basement of one of our own temples." Word on the street is that a ragtag group of troublemakers were spotted near the temple around the same time the priest was last seen. We spoke with Scoow, a bixiinae bouncer at a bar nearby, and she had this to say, "I personally saw 6 drow and an illithid entering the temple down the street and carry out some large square object covered by bed linen. They said something like Toril and stepped into a portal, and that's the last I've seen them. What's a Toril anyway?" The Harmonium are offering a large reward for any information about the whereabouts of Brother Culver or any information about the torture device in the basement of the temple.

More as details come in.

[End of page]



The door bell jingles, but its not Qrooth. Its 3 men in black robes, possible holy men...or necromancers, judging by their personal items and clothing. Ramander excuses himself to escort them into the back room where Rolthalar Culver's body was temporarily placed with respect and covered with a sheet.