Shit. I forgot to split open the hobbit's gut and take his coins. That's right, ain't it? Hobbits keep money in their bellies? Otto told me that once I think.
Wait, no. It was ol chief Shaftkiss. Ugh. We was always cuttin open hobbits in those days and there wasn't never no coins in em. Still made us do it tho. Sometimes he'd take the runtiest of us and cut him open too just to make sure we wasn't holdin anything back. Then everyone had ta eat the tripe.
But one time a screg choked on the gob guts cause there was a coin in em. So, smart move I guess. Can't believe he's still with me now tho. What a fuckin drippin shitfroth lunatic. fuck
He was pretty good at what he did tho, ol Gagknob. Splittin open hobbits. I guess I kinda owe him in a way, how well he taught me, seein as to all the hobbits I gots to gut from day to day. HA HA but no. He can swallow a coupla gallons of his own piss thru his own sawed-off pecker. Then I'll help him get that gold out of his belly, show him how well I learned.
Damn, I'm gettin myself excited. I gotta find a roll a coins to hide in my own belly if you catch my drift. Too bad dumb bitch with her fuckin razor blade door don't got no head. Wouldn't even have to wake her up.
Triel, beautiful, why ain't you got no cock an balls? Mostly all the ladies in that book a yours got a set. I'll untie ya, baby, and we'll put the wizard in a cage til he does the spell what gives us really big ones, I know he's got one or two that can make em long as yer arm. Then we can each take one end til he's ready to go back in the cage, right next to the one for priests with their balls cut off what suggest these cages is for goblins.
Vershnat, I'm pathetic. We've kept this broad on ice for mostly all the time since we met her and here I'm sittin spinnin tales about us as lovers again. As much as they been thumpin her skull she probably won't do more than drool when she wakes up. If she wakes up. She won't be so sexy anymore then.
Fuck it, it ain't like any of these prudes would take me up on it even if I offered em a dip. I'm honestly startin to eye the raccoon.
Maaaaaaaaaan.
This is the pits.
If it ain't bad enough I'm so pent up, it's gotta be three days now we been in this puckery asshole they call a cave. This is not what I signed up for, ya know? Seriously reconsiderin tryin to refurbish the place. Just bein here is drivin me skitterin mad. I mean, have ya read all that shit I wrote just now?
Cause I did, and honestly it's some a my best work. Like, a spell to give ya magic man-meat? Seriously gotta ask Osiris if he can do that. Oh, duh! That's where I been goin wrong. He probably wanted to but didn't think I'd go for it. You don't gotta be shy, Mr. Elf. I'll give ya a railin any way ya like it.
Shit, still got the itch. Where'd I put that book?
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